The methodology a Dom may take in training their submissive may vary greatly from Dom to Dom, which is why it is incredibly important for you to understand not only your partner’s style but your own as well. Is your Dom the more sadistic type? Do you have masochistic tendencies to match that?
At the beginning of our relationship, Astra was not what I would have considered a masochist. She was not one for pain and was much more focused on the psychological aspects of a Dom/sub dynamic, or so I thought. I, however, was, and still am, a sadist to the very core of my being. This did cause some trouble in the beginning because we were not necessarily on the same page regarding our sex life.
One day, a little under four years into our relationship, something changed. She began to express a lot more masochistic tendencies. This was quite a delight for me, but I was struck with confusion. Why was she able to match my sadistic energy with equally masochistic energy? It did not take long to figure it out.
At the beginning of our relationship, I was a terrible, selfish Dom. I only cared about myself, and our relationship and sex life suffered because of it. Then I grew up and realized that I needed to put a lot more effort into some of the things she enjoys in the bedroom, even if they may not be complete turn-ons for me.
Astra has a tendency to read dark romance books. For years, she was pressuring me to read these books, but I did not. In my mind, I was too focused on other things in my life to be able to sit down and read. One day, I decided to pick up one of her books and read through it. I did not finish it right then and there, but it did allow me to look into the depths of Astra’s desires in a way that I had never done before. What was the result?
With the proper psychological experience, Astra was able to tolerate a significantly greater amount of pain than she had before. The picture above may not seem like much, and we have gotten much further than that, but there was a time when she could not even handle that. Astra began to match my energy, which made our bedroom life much more enjoyable for both of us.
Just because you are the submissive in a Dom/sub dynamic does not mean you do not get to derive pleasure from your sex life. In fact, as a submissive, you have a lot more control than you think, and to willingly give that control up for a Dom is a precious gift. Not everyone deserves such a thing.
Find a Dom whom deserves your submission.
